Sunday, October 20, 2013

Who I Am...

"I love this house. I'm never leaving again." Sweeter words had never been heard under our roof in the last 3 months.

 As we pulled up to the house after a 16 hour drive from Myrtle Beach, these are the words that flowed out of our 7 year old daughter who had just joined our family through adoption.

I had the same sentiment.

After a week of vacation with the kids, I felt I needed a vacation of my own. This is a recurring feeling in my heart lately. I just need a vacation. A reprieve. A moment to gather my thoughts.

If you followed me over from my previous blog, A Call To the Fatherless, then welcome back to the circus called my life. Our adoption is complete and we have been home for 3.5 months. This little girl that captured our hearts 10 months ago is literally sitting in the room next to me playing Barbies with a friend.
A seemingly impossible dream, now our day to day.
We survived the summer (barely), took on the new school year like a boss (not), and have begun late fall with a fresh, new perspective on life.

And here I am on a Sunday afternoon with football on the tv, pumpkin candles burning an ambience of autumn, and the kids all playing with friends.

And I am reflecting life. I'm literally starting a new chapter.
For you.
In a blog.

Three years ago, we started our adoption blog to journal our journey to adopting a baby girl from Ethiopia. In the years that would follow, my blog would go from an exciting faith journey in adoption to a lame attempt at staying upbeat in the midst of deep grief at the loss of my mom, a bitter faith struggle with my God, and a defeated view of an adoptive mom beat up by the entire process.

 I'm here today to start new. To be real. To show people that in the pain and anger that swallowed me whole for three lonely years, I still have a faith story.

Some people think I have it all together...I self diagnose this as control issues. On the outside I may seem like a cool, calm, collected woman who has this life figured out. But if they could see the battle going on in my heart and mind, they'd realize the insecurity, fear, and complete chaos going on in there.

This blog is not a self help. There is no theme, no advice. I won't help you decorate your home, give financial advice, or tell you the correct way to parent because that's what I read other blogs for. This blog is to share my life in a real way. To show that even in a three year struggle just to get out of bed each morning, that I had a God that was faithful to wait WITH me. That I get a second chance to discover who He truly is. That in the day to day struggle of being a wife, mother, daughter, friend, I have Someone who makes me better with Him, than I ever was alone.

 My life is nothing unique. I'm boring, normal, and nothing special, but when I break down the day by day, I can find humor, blessing and pieces of Heaven everywhere I look.

And this is what I hope to share with you...
Welcome to Cellar Street 6.

1 comment:

  1. I love reading your blog.. coincidentally I had just went to "fatherless" blog this morning and saw still no entry since June 2013. (Naming Tarikua) How happy I am to read that you are blogging again!